Holy Smokes. I didn't know if the day would ever come- but my debut record Robot is out and available to be bought and streamed on any platform you listen to music!
Confession coming up: Why I'm a Big Liar.
My personal manifesto is POPPING with freedom, joy, playfulness, and authenticity among other things. My debut record is out and I just realized my own hypocrisy regarding the sharing of it. The title track, Robot, (which comes out this Friday) describes the state of being numb and indifferent to the world. This song is my description of what life is like when we're not present. It's what life is like when it doesn't really matter- and I've been operating like this record doesn't really matter.
I LOVE JOY. And because of this, it's really challenging for me to acknowledge or uncover pain, fear, and shame. So in the spirit of LEARNING from the Robot song- I would love to share all of my BULL**** with you. Many people think I don't care what other people think, but if I dig deep enough, of course I do.
List of Shamey Shanna's Internal Shit:
*I don't know if I'm worthy enough to make a fuss out of my music.
*Recording this (ask my producer and sound engineer- who are fabulous!) and getting this record out and promoting it properly as been like pulling my own teeth for the last five years. I feel should-y and shame-y about it.
*It's just a record. Yea I like it but it's a freaking record. Do I really have to tell everyone OMG ITS A BIG DEAL THERE ARE 9 MORE SONGS AVAILABLE ON MAY 27 LETS START THE COUNTDOWN TIL YOUR LIFE IS CHANGED FOREVER!
*I'm afraid of having recorded music that could in any way distract from the incentive to see a live show, my happy place.
*I'm embarrassed on behalf of my incredible Kickstarter supporters and know I should have released this ages ago.
*I should have more music out on streamable platforms by now. I've been writing copious amounts of songs for the last fifteen years and I'm embarrassed that this is my debut record. I feel like an experienced songwriter coming out to the world as a baby.
*I used the excuse of "I can't release this if I haven't promoted it properly" to keep myself from releasing it for 3 years and I still haven't promoted it much and this should have come out four years ago because I still don't have my best publicity effort surrounding it.
*I shouldn't have dumped my savings into a publicist (who is actually a wonderful human being and hard-working publicist)
*I'm embarrassed to share some of the publicity efforts that have resulted from aforementioned publicity. The self-promotion is too much.
*I'm SHOULDing all over myself and this record and this music and it's completely stunting the possibility of these songs being appreciated
*I feel like a hypocrite- "I want and deserve a thriving music career! These songs deserve to be heard! This album will make a difference for somebody!" and yet even though I'm about to put it out there, I'm still hiding them from the world.
*I should have music videos for these songs. I can't afford said music videos.
I read these things and it makes me sad. I'm able to catch my disempowering thoughts so well in other areas of my life but I haven't been celebrating this upcoming breakthrough at all.
I don't want Shame-y Shanna to keep hiding. Here she is, in all her glory, trying to strip her Robot exterior (which can be disguised as joyful-while-vehemently-ignoring-her-fear-Robot)
The TRUTH is (because Shamey Shanna is mean and convincing, but she's not real) I'm so very grateful to my incredible producer Megan Burtt and sound engineer John McVey for bringing these songs alive in a new format so more people can hear them! I'm grateful that Adam Dawson has been spreading it to folk radio stations and music bloggers! I love these songs! I love the way they sound produced! Each tune means something deeply personal to me and I am going to find a way to share about each one, whether it be on Instagram, Patreon, my FB music page, the FannaShanna Community Page on FB, or to my email list. https://shannainadress.bandcamp.com/album/robot